Grabbing yourself the ultimate Twitter username is the most infuriating process ever, which makes sense with over 695 Million registered Twitter accounts. But what if you find a username that you want, and it’s clearly not being used? Well, you contact Twitter through their Help Center and ask them about it, only to receive a canned response. It’s also posted here. The response looks like this:

We’re currently unable to accommodate individual requests for inactive or suspended usernames. We may release all inactive and/or suspended usernames in the future, but have not yet set a date for doing so. Follow @Support to be updated when inactive usernames become available.

I was even told at one point (a few years ago) that they release inactive usernames once every year. I can’t recall how many years it’s been since I first inquired, but it’s been at least 3 years. But they don’t. They simply don’t ever release them. Here are a few examples of usernames I would like to have, in order of importance:

@duke – Tweets: 1. Last post: 2010 (3 years ago)

@chrisduke – Tweets: 1. Last post: 2008 (5 years ago) – Now suspended!

@cd – Tweets: 12. (4 following, 0 followers)

But instead I had to pick something less desirable: @chrisduketv.

Hopefully they do actually release inactive usernames in the future, but it’s clear that after all these years, they won’t.